u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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