The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
