About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize