now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
