There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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