I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
