found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
