I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
