I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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