I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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