Have you finally orgasmed yet?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
