based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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