Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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