Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize