there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
