I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
The police scanner is talking about you again....
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize