I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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