Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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