just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize