i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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