You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
