If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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