There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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