I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize