i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
