no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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