This is not my ceiling
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
