the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
