well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
