i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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