Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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