I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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