her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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