it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
