is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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