Already got asked if we're dating
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
