the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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