This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
