Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
