I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
did i walk over a car last night?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
