so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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