i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
