Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
