So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
did i walk over a car last night?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
