i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
