Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize