What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
