I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
