I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize