making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
