Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
