ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
