Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
no, he came in my armpit
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
