You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
