I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
