and you said cock pushups were impossible
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
