I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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