we're blogging at a bar
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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