I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Hello my rib-scented angel!
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
