This is not my ceiling
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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