But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
