Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
