kristin has been a bad kristin
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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