HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
