she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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