I feel great
I just peed on a car
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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