remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
