Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
