i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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