Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
COCAINE IS GR8
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
