Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
