escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
