hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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