so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
People in love make me want to vomit
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
