if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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