if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
