dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
