We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize