I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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