I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
