i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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