Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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